February 2025

Let’s take a moment to reflect on a harsh reality: sexual violence is all around us. Whether we are scrolling through social media, watching the news, or even just walking through the streets, it is something that affects many lives. Yet, when we discuss it, the conversation often focuses on the wrong things—like blaming the victim. This issue is not just a global one; it deeply affects us here in Nigeria, where silence, shaming, and victim-blaming are common. But the time has come to change the narrative. Let’s talk about it, and let’s talk about it right.

Sexual Violence: A More Widespread Problem Than We Think
According to the World Health Organization (WHO), nearly 1 in 3 women and girls will experience physical or sexual violence at some point in their lives (WHO, 2021). This statistic doesn’t even account for the boys and men who face similar experiences. In Nigeria, the culture of silence and stigma makes these statistics even more striking, as many survivors feel too ashamed or afraid to speak out (National Population Commission, 2018).

Unfortunately, when we do talk about sexual violence, we often place the blame on the wrong people. Too often, the question becomes: What was she wearing? or Why did they go there alone? Instead of focusing on the person who committed the violence, society tends to scrutinize the survivor. This blame game must stop.

Blaming the Victim Achieves Nothing
We’ve all heard the harmful phrases: “She asked for it, “He must have done something to provoke it,” or “Why didn’t they report it sooner?”These comments are not just unhelpful, they perpetuate harmful myths and undermine the very people who need support. In doing so, society discourages survivors from coming forward, isolates them, and places an unjust burden of guilt on them.

Victims of sexual violence already face the heavy weight of trauma; the last thing they need is further harm in the form of blame or judgment. This cycle of victim-blaming serves no one and, in fact, only makes it harder for other survivors to speak out and seek help.

Breaking the Silence
The first step is simple: we must talk. Nigerian society often prefers to sweep uncomfortable topics like sexual violence under the rug, but silence only benefits the perpetrators.

Imagine a Nigeria where survivors could go to the police, to healthcare facilities, or even speak with a friend without fear of being questioned or blamed. Imagine a world where people feel safe to speak out and demand justice. That’s the world we must strive for and we have the power to make it a reality.

Let’s start now: Let’s end the culture of shame. Let’s end the silence. Let’s begin by truly listening to survivors and offering them the care and support they deserve. Together, we can shift the narrative and build a culture rooted in respect, empathy, and justice.

The fight against sexual violence is not just about legal reforms. It’s about changing the way we think, act, and support those affected. We all have a role to play. Let’s make sure survivors know: it was never your fault.