SPEAK WEDNESDAY
DATING ABUSE/RAPE
Dating abuse or dating violence is the perpetration of an act of violence by at least one member of an unmarried couple on the other member in the context of dating or courtship. According to a recent report by different researchers, 1 in 3 young people experience this form of abuse which is not only physical, but can be emotional or psychological like in the case of name calling, bullying, shaming, intentionally embarrassing and constant monitoring; sexual abuse like engaging in sexual act without the consent of the partner, and stalking.
Despite the increasing level of dating violence in Nigeria, some people still regard them as normal or a sign of love, hence find it difficult to walk away. These victims condone or rarely report the violence inflicted on them for different reasons like lack of steady income, low self-esteem, lack of exposure to information, false hopes, stigmatization, lack of shelter, and many more. In few cases where these victims summon the courage to report, they will be asked to find a way to resolve their differences, rather than punish the perpetrators.
Some of these relationships end in violent marriages and to this end, many have died and many more are held in severe bondage they cannot easily escape from for the fear of shame, stigmatization, fear of losing the custody of children and ridicule. It is important to know that abuse is never a one off occurrence, the perpetrators often come back begging for forgiveness, only to repeat it again and again.
In recent days, there have been different cases of rape, killings, bulling of women across different states in Nigeria. From the case of Tina to Uwa and then Jennifer. From physical and verbal abuse, to rape and even murder and it is evident that the authorities are not doing enough to stem the tide of abuse which manifests itself in many forms in Nigeria today.
For there to be a healthy society for everyone, we must step up in the fight against any form of abuse and continue to sensitize women and men in some cases to information about the Violence Against Persons Prohibition Act of 2015 and their human rights. This way, we will have more people speaking up and justice served.
Centre for Family Health Initiative has been able to sensitize hundreds of girls and provided legal and psycho-social support to many victims through our community activities, but the fight is not just for the government and NGOs. Community leaders, religious leaders, and everyone must spearhead the fight against all forms of abuse.