EMOTIONAL VIOLENCE
Have you ever been in a situation where you have suffered emotional neglect and isolation, experienced co-dependency, accusation, blaming, shame, verbal abuse, control, humiliation, bullying, intimidation, manipulation, cyber bullying and abusive criticism? All these devices are palpable signs of emotional violence geared towards hurting and destroying one’s self esteem. The abuser can be anyone: a spouse, business partner, boss, friends, family members, etc.
To exercise power and control over its victim, an emotional abuser propels one to believe that they are indispensable, leaving the victim in perpetual fear. It is important to know that everyone, regardless of race, religion, beliefs, are entitled to respect, independence, self-worth and safety in any relationship.
The emotionally abused sustain injuries that are not necessarily physical but invisible. Only the abused knows he/she is injured and weighs the burden of this injury. What happens next? The abused begins to wallow in self-doubt and concludes that he/she is worthless. The effects of emotional abuse can be short term damages or long lasting scars for those who survive it. The victims may suffer from insomnia, eating disorders, heart palpitations, depression, stomach ulcers, anxiety and even death.
One of the toughest types of violence to detect is emotional abuse because it may not necessarily be physical. Just like other kinds of violence emotional violence can sabotage the mental and psychological health. The abused may begin to feel that all the hurtful comments and abusive criticism used by the abuser are true and blame themselves for the abuse. This may push the abused into the silent killer called depression. We need to live with the consciousness that what we say to people, or how we use words when relating with people can affect them positively or negatively.
To tackle emotional abuse, you must first overcome self-blame. It is not your fault that you are abused. Yes! You will survive irrespective of whether that person is in your life or not. Make yourself a priority! It is important to establish boundaries in your relationship to preserve self-worth and respect. In cases where there is constant breach of boundaries, draw an exit plan, speak to close and trusted persons about it as this may boost the chances of healing internally.
Centre for Family Health Initiative through Child Protection Committee interventions provides psycho-social, economic and legal support to emotionally and physically abused persons who cannot afford justice. Also, Speak Wednesday is a service of CFHI to encourage victims of all forms of abuse to speak up, with the aims of providing justice for everyone, irrespective of their socio-economic status.
